Ladies 3s vs Warrington 1

Wilmslow Ladies 3s v Warrington Ladies 1s

I eagerly awaited the early morning call, would the pitch, the battleground, still be flooded? Would we be reprieved, or would we go over the top on the whistle? Despite the moist, hazardous conditions, hostilities did commence at noon, as planned.

We had the first push back and ventured confidently into no-mans land. We pushed hard at the enemy but were repulsed, indeed we were soon one nil down. Captain Jane rallied the troops and with heads held high, we counter-attacked and soon equalised from a lovely pass from Private Hayward which was slapped into the back of the net by aforementioned Cap’n Jane. We regrouped, yet had no sooner celebrated our goal when GK Daryl was taken out by the quagmire. We were two one down at half time. During the cease-fire, we snacked on emergency cola snake rations and took stock. General Grim gave us a good talking to, outlining the task ahead in no uncertain terms. 

Unfortunately, our defensive positions were overrun more than once, after re-engagement with the Warrington heavy infantry. It was almost as if they knew the territory better than us and took the strategic decision to play short passes and cut through our lines.

The debrief over butties and chips in the enemy’s barracks threw up the following suggestions for honours. Mom medals for Gallantry on the Pitch went to Hannah and Sue, with DoD awarded to Holly for being on the wrong end of someone’s shoulder and sustaining a bloody nose.

Needless to say, being sprayed with mud from vigorous slapping, Wilmslow troops complaining of trench foot, and Private Haywood injured, we were shellshocked. It really was a long way to Tipperary, or should that be home to Phoenix HQ.

Final score Wilmslow 1 Warrington 4